Friday, August 17, 2012

Grand Canyon

Climbing out of our van at the Grand Canyon I realized what it means to really have your breath taken away. When I caught my first site of it I could not breath or even speak, if you know me you know that is saying something. I really could not even begin to take it all in. I remember my feelings at the time and I can remember to some degree what I saw, but I am really unable to mentally pull up the picture that I saw at that time. It is odd I remember that I was stunned but all my memory pulls up is what I saw without the emotion that went with it at the time. I am not sure how or why it is that way.

Thinking back to when I had my son when I pull up the mental images I had I feel those emotions again. I feel the panic and confusion when they said he was not breathing right. I remember the feeling of just wanting to touch him and kiss him, I do not just remember the feelings I feel that longing in my heart again. I wonder why with one thing there is that emotional memory and why with something like the Grand Canyon that it is not there. Perhaps it is that Lars is with me that the presence that I longed for is still with me. Or perhaps it is that so much emotion goes into having and carrying a child. I am not sure and just really wonder about how our emotions and memory of them are connected.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

This School Year

The day after tomorrow we will take Steve to the farther airport. Lars and I are going to head to the Tampa aquarium and may take a short ride in the Bay to look at dolphins. This should be a fun time especially since Lars adores animals. There are some really good programs that will tie right to our school year.

With us choosing to do more of an interest based direction with school one of the directions that Lars is so excited about doing a unit on animal biology. He has stated that he would like to learn the deeper things about how and why specific animals do specific things. He specifically stated that he loves to learn and that he does not want to learn the little kid stuff. So it is very nice the out trip will fit into that.

I did not know how this type of change would go over or if he would just not be into it but on his own he said he would like to learn about US history but studying the major wars. How cool is that? Then he came to me and stated that he would like to learn more words so he could learn one each day and then the next week we would play hangman with them.

I then threw out an idea to him I said that we should do spelling BUT that he would pick the words and I would have to leare to learn the history of the US through the major wars. Wow how cool is thatn them too. I really struggle with spelling so this will be more for me. He knows that and is happy to help me.

We will be continuing with our same Math program. My goal is for him to get though two books at least this year, He should be very close to caught up if we do that.

Also we will be continuing our park day and it looks like a coop day will be added this year. His Art class and photography will also continue. We are also going to look into adding fencing if we are able. This will make for a busy but fun year I hope.

Steve and I were both somewhat nervous about this type of direction for homeschool, but I am feeling so much better since Lars has stated his ideas for it, and that he is excited about it.

So here is to a great year with just as much learning as last year

Friday, August 10, 2012

A Little Bit of Everything

Let's see what is going on with us lately? Well we love to travel and have done a lot of it this year. We are now in Florida. It is beautiful here. Really the heat is quite comparable to home, it is hot and humid. All though the temperature is comparable, something is different here. I am not sure it is just the humidity, that must be a part of it but there is more more than a high humidity, there is a wetness to the air. So since the temps are so hot we are not doing any major outdoor parks. We did go over to the Jungle Garden's, and we plan on going to the beach. Other than that we are sticking with indoor activities. I am going to look at local aquariums since Lars LOVES them. Steve goes back to work in just over a week. That is always a sad time. We love spending extended time together in the summer. This year the summer seemed even shorter because of our travels but it was also much more interesting and enriching. We really got to share a lot this summer not just our travels but also are hearts. We have had some very good conversations. I am learning to draw him out and really listen. I wish that were not such a challenge for me, but it really is. My thoughts rush and seem to also rush right out of my mouth. I have to put a door down on my thoughts to listen and that is a challenge. Steve has wonderful insight to share when he is drawn out. He is such and amazing gift from God. I do hope that I bless him as much as he blesses me. For Lars school year we are considering moving to more of an interest based approach. This is scary, yet he has a desire and drive to learn. He also has a decently wide range of interests that I think it will work well. I think he may be fantastic at choosing an area to learn then setting goals for his learning and for showing what he has learned. We are also deciding whether we should implement a co-op or not. Still working on that. He will continue with Art and Photography I will have to share the pictures he got of the bird diving on the lake. I thought they were pretty good. We also will stick with our Math program he still does not like Math but he seems as happy as possible with this Math. God is working on my heart and in the heart of our family. I do not yet know what he is going to do, and I am okay with that. It is odd but there is a peace when it is given over. It is not as if we are not involved in the choices but it is God who gives us the go ahead or the stop sign. I cannot wait to see what he does! I think that it really is an exciting time. The link is to the song that keeps going through my head right now. The line about stepping out on the water is speaking to my heart now.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Sometimes there are really no words. I mean in High School one teacher said that there was no such thing as writers block. Instead just keep putting words down and they will come. I am overwhelmed at times with all the evil things in the world. There is so much. Life is so precious, how is it that I am so blessed and other are not? I do not know the answer to this question. I just know that it is there. Then what do you do? How do you even begin to overcome anything? I mean there are children starving in this world. There are people dying of very curable diseases. There are children who sit day after day in cribs because not only are they orphans but they are in countries that are already so very poor. Yet I am blessed. How do I begin to be a blessing to others? I do not know. There are so many causes out there. Many ways to help. How do you choose one? I am sure there are many worthy causes that we could just give money to. The bigger question is, what if God is calling me to something bigger? What if He is asking me to walk down a road that I am unsure of? What if it requires more of me than I am able to give? Look at that look at all the "What Ifs." What if? What if God can do something huge through me? What if it requires all of me forever? Am I willing or am I afraid of all the what ifs? So I, and really since it involves my husband too it is we, so we stand at a crossroads or maybe it is a pinnacle one that could change us forever. One that would change us forever. Yet as we stand there the big question is "What IF'?