Tuesday, November 6, 2007

The sworn enemy

Last time I shared how we are trying for a baby. This has been a very painful issue for me. Each month it is like going through a mini grief and loss cycle. It is something I try to take to God each day. However I try not to completely dwell on this all the time. As I have shared I am so blessed. I have a fantastic husband and one wonderful boy. I also am blessed (most of the time I think of it as blessed) with two dogs.

These two dogs are very interesting. One is a full blooded beagle the other is a mutt of some sort. They are so funny to watch. Ranger is the mutt he is a rather big dog he is about 50 lbs. He is also my sworn protector. He follows me all over and when I sit he sits right beside me. He will stand between me and any danger. When a person comes to the house to work or read a meter ranger keeps himself between me and this assumed threat. He also barks to alert us when anyone even attempts to pass in front of our house. He seems to bark the second they cross in front of our property line until they get to the other side. Most do not dare approach. We feel safe with him around.

However, I have found one area he seems to be at a total loss. This is when we run the vacuum sweeper. He thinks it is some mortal sworn enemy. The problem is he us such a protector that he seems to have the need to save me from it as well. So when I pull out the vacuum he is torn you can see the look on his face. "Do I run for my life, or save my human?" The result is that he dances in front of the vacuum barking at it and looking at me imploring me to go to safety. After a few minutes of this he gives up and runs into the other room. If I am not going to run for my life he will run for his. What really gets me is that we have used a vacuum most every day for 5 years now (Did I mention he sheds?) and it never changes. I can only imagine what goes through his head when he passes the closet the vacuum is stored in.

Sunday, November 4, 2007


Well I really do want to get this blogging thing down. I am going to shoot for writing several times each week. I shared last time that I was going to do my testimony. That went really well and as soon as I can figure it out I will put a link to it.
So what is God doing in my life? Well my husband and I have been married for about 2 1/2 years. I have a great husband by the way :) I have a son from a previous marriage and he and my husband get along great my son thrives with my husband around. When we were first married we were not trying to get pregnant but we did withing a few months. We were happy about this it had happened sooner than we thought but we were glad. However at 10 weeks I miscarried. After that we decided to try for another one. Now here we are 2 years later and we have not been able to get pregnant. I had one child and got pregnant again. How could infertility hit me?
This has really been a struggle for me. God has blessed me so much and yet there is this one thing I want. Sometimes I wonder if I am like the Israelites who were never happy with what God gave them. Yet I am happy I am blessed and I praise God for all He has done. If I never have another child then I am still blessed and I will still follow Him. It is just one thing I long for. Is this a sin?
Well, today it just hit me like a ton of bricks. We are all, male and female, made in God's image. And guess what? He wanted the same thing in a way. He was complete whole God Son and Holy Spirit. He did not NEED anything. Yet, he said let us make man in our image. He did not need us He wanted us. That desire to have this goes back further than we do. I take comfort in that. I am created in God's image and he wanted to create us. It is natural that we as humans have this want and drive.